Maintenance!

10450455_10154204990680133_2948116350386449601_n10262246_10154204990545133_3282331630420773617_nI can’t tell you how many times, I plan on blogging, and don’t. So, I’m sorry. But anyway, you all want an update! On May 19th, I hit my goal of 154.9. (Goal was 155). My last recorded weight was 152.5 on Saturday. Total loss: 194 pounds in 62 weeks.

Can you believe it? The first time EVER in my life to actually make a goal. It’s pretty surreal to be honest. I found myself talking out loud driving the other day. This was right after my dad kissed me, said I look so small and said my mom would be so proud.

You did it. After all this time, you did it. Since you were 11 years old, you have been reaching for this goal and it never came. Do people know what this is for you?! 

I think about my mom. She was with me during every diet. She would be so thrilled for me! Basically I feel amazing. I can walk into any store and shop. Size 10 pants, Size medium shirts. Like OMG – Really?! My shoe size is still a 10. :)

I actually jumped up and down on Saturday when I showed marc the above outfit. He said, you look cute! I jumped up and down and said, I look cute, I look cute! I really felt it! I hate uncomfortable clothes. Before surgery, I just wanted to look stylish and cute in jeans and casual clothes.

Maintenance really hasn’t changed my food (yet). I actually am not sure it will change that much. Been doing some research and I know that regain is so very possible. I HAVE to be on my game 100%. I am a recovering binge eater, recovering morbidly obese person. I have a food addiction. Should I really play around with a few of this, and a few of that? Just because I have hit a number, doesn’t mean everything needs to change. Granted, I need to make sure I stop losing by increasing my calories with healthy food.

Here’s a sample of a typical day for me:

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I LOVE my oikos cherry yogurt and skinny Starbucks latte’s! Those are my treats. I’ve binged a few times. I have found myself mindlessly eating while bored at work. It happens, still will happen. I have to stay on myself to make sure I’m not a statistic of regain. I will hate myself, and feel so depressed. I don’t want to feel like that.

It will never end! LOL Hopefully it gets easier. Right now, I don’t feel like I am missing out. I hope it stays that way.

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Loose skin is a bit of an issue for me, but not too much. Upper thighs, upper arms, tummy and back. Don’t feel comfortable wearing sleeveless or much above the knee, or anything that clings in the stomach, or creates muffin top. I just dress for my shape i guess to hide what I don’t like. This dress is cute, but I would wear a sweater and I’m really not a skirt girl. I still feel self conscious, but when I’m out shopping, I LOVE trying on clothes I wouldn’t really buy just to see how it looks. :)

Had my 1 year blood work done. Everything is good. I have to work on taking my calcium and daily vitamin. I also offered to speak at one of our community surgery meetings. I’m not sure what I have to share, but I would like to share with people my story.

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AND you all want to see a pic of Gunther, right?!

photo (1)Thanks for coming back and reading and all your support and kind comments!

  

Yummy donuts

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Everyone has been raving about a new local bakery. They have a Nutella filled donut. Today I went with some coworkers to buy my husband some donuts. These sat next to me for the next two hours. Talk about a NSV. I really didn’t even want them. I hope this side of things stays forever. It’s more than being off carbs. I really don’t have the same “I need that” desire. Would it taste good? Sure.

Some think that these reduced cravings are from a different mindset. I really feel it’s surgery related. Maybe because I don’t want to leave that pressure in my own shoulders. When they remove your stomach, they also remove the ghrelin in it, which reduces the hormone in your body. So, I really don’t know why I’m having a sense of more control. Me or surgery.

Whatever it is, I hope it’s here for good.

  

Almost there!

OMFG. I am .9 away from my goal weight. My goal weight from 8 years ago! Today I weighed in at 155.9. I am a normal BMI! It’s so exciting, and truthfully a little scary. I feel a tremendous pressure to maintain. I have never in my life been able to be in maintenance. I don’t know how to do this! but really I do. I have learned along the way all these years what to do.

Clothes shopping is fun again. I put on clothes, and stand there in awe. Is that me? I bought size 10 jeans, and get medium shirts. Insane. I have lost 190 pounds! One Hundred and Ninety pounds. WHAT?! These things don’t happen to me. They happen to other people, who are far more committed than I am.

I have far exceeded what I thought might happen, and I’m so grateful. So grateful to of gotten this tool. I feel like I now have a fighting chance to keep it off. I don’t really think my eating will change that much when I hit maintenance. I guess I will just eat a little bit more. I asked a forum, what tips they may have for maintenance.

The biggest tip was to weigh yourself daily. “You do not gain 20 pounds overnight, but you do gain one pound at a time and if you don’t deal with it, it multiplies quickly”

These are the tips from one of the veterans:

Some random advice in no particular order….

1) Keep a weight goal range and never go over it.  Let the high end of your range always trigger a specific weight loss program.

2) Keep exercising or moving as studies show that exercise is more important for maintenance than even weight loss.

3) Drink before you feel thirsty

4) Continue to not drink your calories (as often as possible, I slip on this one quite a bit).

5) Get in the habit/stay in the habit or eating lean dense protein first at every meal.

6) Eat your veggies for snacks and go to town on green leafy things.

7) Don’t let fat scare you, you can use a little healthy fat

8) Stop or never start grazing as this is the one worst thing you can do in maintenance

9) Surround yourself with healthy people that are living a healthy lifestyle

10)…..Most Important…..NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO FORGET THAT YOU ARE OBESE AND NOT CURED

WOW, I LOVE #10. Love Love Love.

I’m excited to move to this next phase. Not overly excited, because really, not much is going to change. But it feels great to get close to a goal.

A few pics, because I love pics now!

I put on my before jeans for the first time since surgery. Was I shocked!

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It’s always been a dream of mine to fit into one leg of my jeans!

And a before pic (with my nephew):

537415_10151306718646533_764999074_nI got a new haircut! Bangs and caramel highlights. (with kyleigh at her communion)
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So, I guess that’s about it for now!

  

I’m sorry Mom, Nana & Auntie Peg

You all know my mom passed 7 years ago. 5 years ago, we lost my nana and auntie peg who were very close to us. With that, we all inherited a lot of “stuff”. I have lived in 3 places since then, and a soon to be 4th. I am bringing all this “stuff” everywhere.

A lot of it is little things that make me remember them. Little shoes from my moms collection, gifts she gave me, gifts I bought her. I even have her last pair of favourite pajamas. Things I keep just because they were from her. I have my mom’s good dishes and silverware that she only used on Christmas and special occasions. I have china bowls from nana’s collection. She loved her china. I have crystal candlesticks that all nana could talk about when she moved to the nursing home was that I keep them. Actually I just remembered that now, and it’s making me a little teary.

I have my moms hurricane candle holders, her wedding mementos. All sorts of stuff. Also I have the full set of the Gone With The Wind Collector Plates that my mom’s mom bought for her.

I also have my childhood doll highchair and cradle, and my cabbage patch kids. Marc and I are not planning on kids, so obviously they won’t go to my children. I have my niece, but is my brother and SIL going to carry that stuff around for another 30 years?! I kept my cradle and highchair, and dolls because my mom wanted me to give them to my kids.

It’s time for me to let this stuff go. I do feel guilty, and I’m sorry to them all. Marc and I have decided to drastically downsize and go for a minimalist approach. I just don’t want it anymore. I tell myself I don’t need these things to remind myself of them. I remember them every day, even if I don’t look at her dishes or silverware.

I think afterwards I’ll feel lighter, more free. I just don’t use these sentimental items. It’s hard, but it’s a needed change.

 

  

Half My Size

Today marks a bit of a special day in my journey. I weighed in at 172.9lbs, which means I have lost 173.6lbs, and I have lost 50.1% of myself!

I was nervous before surgery. What if it didn’t work? What if I couldn’t do it? What if I failed like all the other times? I, in no way feel “safe”. I can still gain weight. But I am thrilled at my progress.

Starting weight: 346.5
Current weight: 172.9

I have lost almost 174 pounds. Holy *&$%!

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