I was shocked when I checked my blog and saw that it’s been 2 months since I last posted. Where has the time gone?! Where has the summer gone? I don’t know about where you live, but in Ontario, we are having a crappy summer. After a bad winter, the summer is kinda like Fall. We get some good hot days but it doesn’t last long. Add in the fact, that I am constantly cold now post weight loss, it doesn’t feel like much of a summer to me.
So, as of this morning, I was 146.1, which puts me at 200.4 pounds lost. Can you believe it? I didn’t know if I would even get to goal, let along surpass it by 9 pounds. For the last 2 months, I haven’t been trying to lose anymore weight. I have been maintaining. My body is just doing what it is supposed to do. I was getting a little worried that I was still losing, but everyone told me to just sit tight, and as long as I was eating right, it would stop when it’s ready, and I guess it has. I have been around the same weight 145-147 for a few weeks to a month now. I suspect it took awhile for my body to get the message that it was done losing weight.
In a twist of irony, I have been getting a few comments telling me I am too thin. I had mixed feelings about this in the beginning. I got a little scared. I don’t want to look disgusting because I’m too skinny and now there is that little side of me that kinda giggles inside when people tell me that. Too skinny? Are you kidding me? Awesome! Yeah, disordered thinking? I think so.
Regardless, I AM NOT too skinny. I have a very healthy normal BMI. I am a size 8. I eat around 1400-1500 calories a day. I eat carbs. I am still working with the “eating bad food” as I still am a little scared of it. When people lose a lot of weight like I have, it seems to come off of the upper body, where are skin and fat are left everywhere else. So my upper body is bony, but I have a stomach of skin, so it’s a little confusing for us. It will take some time for my body to adapt to losing 200 pounds in 15 months.
I do feel bones that I didn’t ever feel before. In fact, my tailbone is so exposed it is very painful. I sit about 12 hours a day, so the pressure on that is painful. Add that to my back problem woes. Good times. But I really don’t care what people think. I am SO proud of myself and most of the time, walk with my head high, feeling pretty.
Most people are just not used to the seeing someone who has lost a lot of weight small, so it’s normal to think they are too think. But if someone just saw them on the street, they probably wouldn’t think twice. Although I do think my mom would say I was too thin. I remember when I got down to 163, she had said that. Now, I’m 17 pounds smaller.
Regardless, I’m really enjoying the smaller me. I seem to love experimenting with fashion, makeup, jewellery and hairstyles. Amazing what a little self esteem will do!