The dreaded regain

Hey Strangers!

In typical Jackie fashion, it’s been a few months since my last update. About 3 months. So, since my last post, I have accepted the fact that I have experienced some regain. This morning, I was 157. Sunday I was 160. So, as of today, that puts me up about 8 pounds.

It took me awhile to wrap my head around things. I didn’t know, if I was doing something wrong, or this was just part of the process. I have finally decided, it’s a little bit of both. My calories started increasing about 200c a day, and I think my body is getting used to being at goal, and is working more efficiently, therefore, the calories I was intaking was too much.

I really didn’t want to change my eating habits. At All. I was content, and really was eating whatever I wanted (within reason). I’m still happy with WHAT I’m eating. I have certain foods that I allow myself to have, but a lot that are off limits.

So, Saturday, when I hit 160.2, I knew I had to suck it up and reduce. I spoke to some other wls patients, and a lot had also experienced some regain, so that made me feel a bit better. I just don’t want to be a statistic. I promised myself, that I wouldn’t allow myself the mental torture of regain, and it was started to upset me.

I cut my calories from about 1700-1800 to about 1300 for 4 days now, and have dropped a few. I’ll just keep going until I get to the low 150’s. That is where I am happiest. Even a few pairs of jeans felt tight, as well.

It’s amazing, how hard it still is. It’s never going to be easy!

A few pics from last week:

IMG_2665 IMG_2672


2 year Surgiversary!

IMG_1567 IMG_1690I cannot believe, that 2 years have passed since my VSG surgery. This before picture was the morning of surgery, where I had already lost 17 pounds. I’ve lost 191 pounds and feel amazing and BEYOND proud of myself. I remember that day, like it was a movie.

It’s amazing how I forget how awful it really was to be 346 pounds.
-I had to sit to tie my shoes
-My feet swelled every night
-Tight fit in my car
-Couldn’t find nice clothes
-Sitting in auditorium seats hurt my hips
-High cholesterol
-Felt physically ugly

To be at a normal weight is wonderful.
-My self esteem has improved dramatically
-I bother to make myself look pretty
-Shopping is so much fun
-I can shop anywhere
-I can sit in any seat I want, anywhere
-No pain when walking

All that being said, it’s not a cake walk. I am not cured from obesity. I think the smartest thing, is to know this.

I am about 8 pounds today heavier than my lowest a few months ago. Of course, this concerns me. I spoke to the dietician about it, today at my 2yr follow up appt. I don’t feel my eating really has changed that much. He took a look at my food log and thought I was doing everything right, which was nice, because at the clinic, I usually don’t hear those kinds of things. He said, what I’m probably going through is rebound weight, as well as the fact that my calories HAVE increased a bit in the last few months as well, from appetite changes, and trying to deal with my hypoglycemia that I am experiencing. I do notice myself doing some grazing, so I have to keep that in check.

I told him that I wasn’t sure what to do. Decrease my calories to try to get the weight down, or just leave things as it. He asked me what the negative of that would be. I said, well, I would feel like I was dieting. I expressed my concern that I feel like it’s my fault that the weight is rising in the last few months, so it must mean I’m failing, and I’m doing something wrong. He really eased my concerns that by looking at my journal, I was doing great, and it could be metabolic, hormonal, and quite often once people get to their lowest weight, they usually don’t stay there. (rebound gain)

People have warned us of rebound regain, and someone told me this when I was worried I was losing too much past my goal of 155:

“You will eventually (years later) really be happy that you went down below your target range. Your body will not continue to lose indefinitely, but it might lose past where you would like it to stop. Eventually, you will fight regain and the extra few pounds lost now will be a seen as a gift.”

I’m seeing the gift now. lol He also didn’t recommend I reduce my calories, especially because I am experiencing hypoglycemia which I will be seeing the Dr for. He also recommended I didn’t weight myself daily, as that doesn’t really help me.

So, lots of things to consider. It really IS true. This surgery was a gift, and it’s a tool. There is still SO much work I have to do to lose and keep it off.

Anyway, just wanted to give an update. I still owe you on on the TV show I was featured on! It was great!

Thank you to all of my readers, who have been here for me through my surgery, and all my years of blogging! xo


The Marilyn Denis show!

Something exciting is going on!

I was chosen to be on the Marilyn Denis show in Toronto! The topic of the show is Extreme Weight Loss! I will be there along with 2 other woman. They came to my house the other day for 2 hours, to do a little shoot, which will result in a 1.5 minute clip of my story. I did a little interview, and they filmed me in the kitchen, walking Gunther, putting on makeup, and drinking tea while looking at a photo album.

I’ve known for a few weeks, and at first I felt really weird. I didn’t know if I wanted to tell many people. My guest, Mavis, my college roommate and co worker is coming, and I know she will be posting pictures on facebook, etc, and everyone at work is going to find out, so I let the cat out of the bag to them as well! Now that people know, and they came for the shoot, I’m feeling a bit more comfortable.

Yesterday, I went to the studio, to be fitted for my outfit! We are getting a makeover as well. :) I’m not sure yet, what that will entail exactly, but it is sure to be a fun day!

So, it is shot live April 1st. I think the link will be on the internet the next day, and I’ll post it, but if you live in Canada, you can catch it on CTV at 10am.

Cool, right?!

Here are some pics of the shoot!
image (1) image image (2) image (3)So, I’ll see ya on TV April 1st!


Mom: 8 years ago

180561_10150417179025133_270841_n 183502_10150420308450133_6408342_n 26032_10150099976890133_5992244_n 1916767_348124355132_7125934_n mom2Wednesday will be 8 years, since mom passed away from cancer. I remember so much, but don’t remember so much. Every now and then, I go through my blog, and read through February 2007, and it brings back so many memories. Memories I want to remember, even though they suck. I’m very thankful for my blog, especially for this.

This time, 8 years ago, she was admitted into hospice and we had been there for one day. She passed away 5 days later.

February 21, 2007 – update

February 24, 2007 – still going

February 25, 2007 – it’s over

March 1, 2007 – moving on

I’ll never forget, the moment she took her last breath. I’m so honoured that I was able to be there. Love and mis her dearly!