Hey everyone. I’m still here. I’m so sorry for the lack of updates. I guess I’m not in the writing mood, which if you know me, is because I have nothing to write on the weight loss front. Gaining is what I’m doing. Always trying to regain control. Not really what to say about that right now. It’s pretty pathetic and depressing.
I have been trying to do some shopping for 2 weeks now. I went with money and couldn’t find anything. I am in desperate need of shoes too, all which is pretty hard with no money, you know? I’m trying as hard as I can to make due until I can have a free hundred or two to get some Fall clothes. I have a gift card for a store that sells shoes, but all they seem to have is a wide array of mbt shoes, which I am NOT in the market for.
Once again, I’m really sorry for not posting. I sound like a broken record with all my problems and no solutions. I guess it just doesn’t feel as bad if I don’t talk about it or face it. Kathy used to say that.
I’ll try to write more often!
Well, I finally got my Sister-in-law’s baby shower invites out on the weekend. Her shower is going to be in late September. I cannot believe how fast the months has went by, well for me anyway. We are having it at a B&B as none of us have a house large enough to hold the maybe 40 people attending. It should be a great time, and lots of presents for her and my brother and the new baby. I’m not sure what to get her though. Has any of you mother tried the ergo baby carrier? I saw that, and thought that might be a nice gift. I can’t belive I’m going to be an auntie. I really wish my mom was here to be able to enjoy this!
Has anyone watched this show? Or read the books? I watched the first episode and I was hooked. I looked forward to it every week and every week was awesome! I know it is based on the books, but I didn’t want to find out what happened. Now that season 1 is over, I think I want to start reading the books from the beginning. I’ve found them around here, but haven’t bought the first one. I have no clue why. Maybe trying to look for a cheaper price! I found them on buy.com for a pretty cheap price, so I may just bite the bullet and order them. I just don’t want to not finish something I start, and I tend to do that with books!
Have you read them and watched the season? Are the books worth a read?
Hey everyone. It seems like it’s been such a long time! Things are going well with me. Diet is good actually. I will let you all know what I am doing in a little bit. Busy working the two jobs, as well. Our house is supposed to be ready in about 6 months. I haven’t let myself get excited about it, because I’m so worried about the money. Marc is still only working part-time. He’s sending out tons of resumes for graphic design, and unfortunately haven’t even gotten an interview yet. We considered On Line Schools to upgrade some skills but we just don’t have the money for that. It doesn’t make sense really. He does want to get into a trade, but you have to basically go back to school and not work. Who can do that, unless you have a big nest egg, or you live at home.
So lots of stuff going on, I’m just trying to keep my head out of the worry gutter. NOT EASY!
Now, I’m not looking for pity here. I KNOW every girl who stuggles with a bad self image feels this way, but I came across this image while looking through some things.
This was taken in the summer of 2008 I think. The first thought I had, was WHAT DOES HE SEE IN ME. As I said, I’m not looking for pity. I know this is a normal reaction for some females. It’s not my personality I am questioning, but I just think I look SO ugly, and SO FAT!
I also found this pic. This was before I met him, after I had lost a bunch of weight and was 165. My first thought. WOW, ANY MAN WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME, except of course, for the one I was with. LOL. May be conceited, but after a life of feeling ugly, fat and less than, I deserve to feel that. I look and I think my little tummy and my butt even look cute!
Anyone ever felt you weren’t even a good daughter, that your parents could be proud of? I felt like that. To me, Fat is ugly. I rarely was the pretty daughter my parents would be proud to show their friends to (IMO). Maybe that’s part of my problem. I can never feel really happy being obese. A little overweight, I can deal with.
Here’s a pic of me from a few weekends ago. One of my only pants and shirts at the moment. I look ok, in my opinion, but I know the feelings inside, and they are not so pretty.
Anyway, just a few things I was thinking about!
