Not really sure what to write anymore. The truth works, I guess. I’m still struggling very much. I met with Kathy the other day and I brought up maintenance. We decided not to visit that route yet. I guess I thought about it because it is too hard to fight more. I would be sad not to lose more weight and to just be complacent. I feel it is just not over yet. But I am struggling every day it seems, and you know what we decided 70% of the problem is. My effort and laziness. I know it. I float around. I wake up, and don’t really know what I’m eating that day. I’m too lazy to make things. It’s so much easier to go out and buy a lunch. Mostly healthy when I’m in the mood. Sometimes not. My weight is the same that it was in January. That really sucks for someone on a weight loss program, don’t you think? But I can’t give up. She suggested of course getting out of the house more, going to an exercise class or something like that. I’m going to look into it. I may look into the Y which is pretty close to our new apt. I have to toughen up and stop cheating.
Wedding news: There may be some new dress shopping in the future. Quite a lofty goal buying a size 12 dress. What was I thinking? Ordered the favours and printed boxes to package them, started the invites, booked hair and makeup and transportation. I REALLY can’t believe I’m going to be officially married in 2.5 months. Woah. I hope to submit my wedding to some of the budget blogs I have been reading. A wedding on 9,000$ isn’t easy these days, that’s for sure, but challenging.
Ok, well I should get to work now. Bye!
I hear you on getting the wedding on $9000. My fiance and I are trying to come in under $7000 and finding it very tricky. We have the reception location booked and working on the other items now. And I am still struggling with the weight loss. I just need to focus, but I get off track very easily. We still have 7.5 months. Seems so far away, but is quickly approaching.
You’re setting yourself up to fail! All this talk about being a problem with your effort and laziness, giving up, etc. That’s the problem with all this on-diet/off-diet thinking. Look how far you’ve come! You’ve lost an incredible amount of weight. Maintenance is not ‘giving up’, it’s letting yourself focus on other issues in your life for awhile, and letting them take your focus. If you think of maintenance as ‘giving up’ then you may truly give up and undo all your hard work (on/off thinking). Just let yourself be for awhile, and you’ll get to the point where you have the time and motivation to lose more. The problem is not with you, it’s with a crazy dress. Sell it, get a new dress that fits you now and that you love, and realize what great steps you’ve taken. You’ll be ready for the next steps eventually, but give yourself time to be comfortable with yourself and enjoy the fact that you’ve found someone you love that you want to marry, and the excitement of getting married, rather than feeling dread when you think about ‘the dress’. It sounds like it’s external factors (piece of fabric) not internal factors that prevent you from feeling great. Let’s face it, the weight you are now probably feels great coming from 80 pounds heavier. Enjoy it! I hope this comes across as positive, because I mean it in a 100% positive way.
Hi Jackie,
I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling so much, but I also encourage you not to beat yourself up about it. What you’re going through is very common and normal, and does NOT constitute defeat or failure. You will continue toward your goal, as long as you keep pushing and trying to do your best. It may take longer than you’d like, but the results are just as valid. So – hang in there, keep fighting, and be kind to yourself.
I haven’t read your archives, so I don’t know if this has ever been a factor for you – but I wonder, deep down could you maybe be a little afraid of success? Getting below 200 was a major milestone. Ever since then, a part of you seems to have been fighting to stay there – maybe because you feel safe? Just a theory, but thought I’d mention it :) In any case, it doesn’t matter – I know you will get past this.
All the best,
Cathy
Jackie~
I so understand what you mean! I know that if I plan out what I want to eat and make it ahead of time it works- so why is it so hard to do that??? I know you don’t want to hear this, but I bought my wedding dress a couple sizes too small and I didn’t end up losing the weight. I found a wonderful seamstress that was able to add a whole panel into the dress to make it fit. You couldn’t even tell she did it. Did I even think of that on my wedding day? No way, it was the happiest day of my life and not once did I think about the dress because it fit and I felt beautiful in it no matter the size. You’ll be smiling so much and having fun that you won’t think about it and when you look at your wedding pictures you’ll just think of how happy you were that day. Just my two cents! :)
Enjoy the next few months~
Christa