Getting Tougher

Hey everyone. Time for my monthly update! lol

Well, it’s about 10 months since I started this journey and I am down 171 pounds. Kinda amazing. I weigh 175 and am at 49.2% lost. Did I ever mention, it is kinda a dream of mine to appear in People Magazine’s new year, I lost half my size? I googled it and thought I’d submit my entry, but i didn’t find out where to send it. If anyone knows, please pass it along!

I just realized that in 5 days, it will be the 7th anniversary of my mom dying. sigh. I still feel sorry for myself every day. Some people handle death so well. They move on, they embrace life, they cherish the time they had. They don’t feel sorry for themselves. I go ahead with life, and cherish the time we had, but am still angry and upset. Why me? Why her? Why so young? I’m enjoying life, but miss her every day. Just this morning, I had an urge to call her like I used to every day. It never goes away.

So, as the headline states, emotional eating is starting to rear it’s ugly head. Life is pretty stressful right now. We are selling the house. Things are on my mind. I started noticing about 8 months out, I was able to eat more at a time. That is normal, but I do tend to wonder, if I’m doing something wrong. I am noticing, I am thinking about eating a lot more than normal, and I really do think it’s happening due to stress AND habits. This is how I used to eat. Eat all the time for no reason. It’s something I really have to keep an eye on and work on and keep reasoning with myself. Man, it’s tough. I have not allowed myself to eat snack food. My daily treats are still soy milk latte’s and greek yogurt. I am still counting calories and noticed I’m hitting 800 more often these days. Which is ok. 800 is fine, but I have to make sure it’s for the right reasons.

All par for the course. To be expected when eating was my hobby. Sometimes i get really excited, when I get to take a few snacks in the evening to eat while watching tv.

It was pretty easy in the beginning. Not many mind games going on. I feel this is also about the time where things usually become hard when I’ve lost weight in the past.

So I keep fighting. Things are ok. Just little things I notice.

Here’s a pic I took a few weeks ago with my baby bear. I put this on facebook with the comment that he literally walks all over me!

1551553_10153749206555133_2819268_nUntil next time!


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