I just turned on the video camera on my computer and was going to do a vlog. I felt like I looked kinda cute, but when I saw myself, I thought, nope, I’m not doing it. It’s weird. This weekend I’m meeting some girl for the annual Xmas dinner at a steakhouse. Just last year they were all telling me how good I looked. I was 200 lbs. Now, at 287, I’m so embarrased to be seen. It’s SO embarrasing. But I will go, and get through it. Staying on plan will be challenging but life is full of dinners out, right?
Today I weighed in for week #1. I was down 4 pounds. I’m happy, but I can’t help but compare this week to every other week 1 I have ever done. On Kathy’s plan week 1 is usually about 6-7 pounds. WW is not Kathy’s plan. Much more processed food but with the new plan coming out will hopefully help to eliminate a little bit. (For us canadians the plan comes out next Monday). I just can’t do the other plans anymore. I can’t starve myself for 4 days again hoping to detox. I’m not there, not right now anyway. It’s a slight miracle I got through 1 week of WW!
I was also thinking about joining the local Goodlife gym around me. Sunday I took a stroll around and really liked it. I’m nervous of the cost though. I am spending now 50$ on WW, and another 60$ will be added. Marc suggested I try to do my own thing a few months until I am about 2 month into WW, and then if all is well, make the investment then. I think I will do that. For me, I can work out every day. If I’m not watching what I eat, I will lose no weight.
So I’m still not feeling great about myself. I still feel like I look huge to everyone. If equestrian apparel were in fashion for general public clothes that would hide my fat thighs nicely. It is just so overwhelming knowing I have like 120 pounds to lose. But I suppose I shouldn’t think about that. I’d be happy with 60 pounds off. I like my thinner face SO much more than this one.
Just a journey. I know you all can relate. Have a great night!