Has it really been 2 months since I’ve last written?! I was thinking about it this morning, about how I didn’t want to write. And why? Because my weight is not going in my favour.

But the most consistent feedback, I’ve ever gotten, is I tell the good and the bad. You are all going to tell me to shut up, but I DO feel like a failure. I’m up, I don’t know 20-25 pounds. Closer to 25 right now. I haven’t weighed myself in a week because I’m scared. I keep intending to do something about it, but it just doesn’t seem to last long. I just can’t accept it. Maybe this is my new normal. But it’s too hard to accept. I don’t feel pretty again, and am not wearing my “skinny” jeans because I just want to be comfortable. So, it’s a problem, but I am trying not to freak out, because that will make it worse.

I know this means I have to do something. There’s this liquid diet plan over at Bariatric Eating that I really want to do. It’s just 4-5 protein shakes a day and meal at dinner. Good calories, great protein, low carbs. I’m scared shitless. It seems to work for everyone. I’m scared I’m going to be miserable. I think I am going to order some with my tax rebate. I’m scared that this “fad diet” will make my desire to binge worse.

I am still getting hypoglycemia and my endocrinologist says therapeutically, nothing can be done. It’s just a complication of bariatric surgery. I tried a medication that didn’t work. So I have to live with it. I am still trying to find ways or natural remedies to combat it, but it’s a work in progress.

I really feel something hormonally is going on. I just had some ultrasounds because I’ve been getting consistent cramping, irritability for the last few months. I’ll get those results on Friday. And really, some of the weight could also be a hormonal effect. We’ll see.

My eating is still the same. Not horrible, but little snacks have been creeping in and some bingeing. Gradually my calories have increased. I go from 1300-1700 during the week daily. Just depending.

Anyway, I’ve been mourning the weight loss period. It was so easy and so fun. Such a rush. It’s true what they say. The real work does start!

Just wanted to throw an update on here! I post a bit more consistently on Instagram if you guys want to know I’m still kickin. LOL Link in the sidebar.

xo

+7